catsbeaversandducks:

"Just get in the car, Alice. I’ll explain on the way."

(via gnarly)

e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.
e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

(via olitwist)

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh

so-humorous:

i wasn’t expecting that tbh

(via gnarly)

pinkmckinley:

do not think about your crush in an old sweatshirt with scruffy hair and a sleepy smile ok dont think about them humming to themselves as they make breakfast in this attire ok dont think about how the light hits them as they sit down across from you and eat breakfast ok just dONT

(via this-thisisyours)